How to Know if Your Therapist is a Good Fit

Photo credit: Tim Mossholder (Unsplash)

Today I want to share an article from Good Therapy: How to Choose the Best Therapist or Counselor for You. I appreciate how the article discusses things to look for, such as a therapist who’s open to feedback, avoiding those who make promises or guarantees, and getting a “roadmap” from your therapist about the ways in which he or she intends to help. While the article doesn't focus on "choosing" the therapist, as in getting a list of providers to call (I’ve written about that here), it does lay a foundation of things to consider regarding the therapeutic relationship early on in the process.

I use that word "relationship" intentionally--therapy is a human exchange built on trust and respect, and while any therapist should technically be able to work with any client and remain professional, that doesn't mean that every therapist/client pair is going to be a great fit. Just because I can hear someone tell me a story about a challenging situation and I'm able to provide feedback and suggest some coping skills, doesn't make it "good." That's not all there is to therapy!

So for people seeking therapy: don't be afraid to leave and find a new clinician if you don't click well with the first one. You are spending your time and money and putting yourself in a highly vulnerable position--you need to be totally comfortable to do that!

For clinicians and interns: you cannot be the perfect therapist for everyone and it's not fair to you to place that expectation on yourself. That is an important professional hurdle to jump. As a therapist, you are not to take these things personally, and it is not necessarily a reflection of your knowledge, skills, or worth when a client doesn't click and stick with you. If you consistently have clients leave after a short time, that is something to discuss with your supervisor, but you can't expect to be the best fit for everyone who walks through your door.

The therapeutic relationship is unique and important. Don’t let a poor fit with one clinician deter you from learning the benefits and joys that come from working on your mental wellbeing through therapy.